Confession time:
1. I let my toddler watch tv.
Like now for instance! He is watching Justin Time, while I blog away! To be honest we have cut down tv watching drastically in the last few weeks with great results in behaviour and sleep. Like all new mums I had such great intentions at the beginning that gradually dissolved into having the tv on first thing in the morning and most if the time when we were in the house. During the last year Harrison's sleep has got worse- bed time became a war and he began waking two or three times most nights! So something had to change, especially with a new baby in the house!! (Believe me having to deal with two babies at 4am isn't big or clever!) so we decided to cut down tv, especially before bed. This seemed to have worked a bit, his sleep still isn't perfect, but better! (We will take better!)
2. I don't follow Gina Ford.
I think this woman should be banned from writing books! When I was pregnant with Harrison a well-meaning friend bought me her book- I tried to follow the strict routine she sets with my baby boy for about three days- it was a disaster! As a first time mum and dad we were looking for 'the answer' to all baby issues- mainly sleep and eating! At first we started to think that there was something wrong with our baby because he didn't wake up exactly at 7am, want to nap at 10:34am and he cried and cried rather than 'settling himself'! And then we realised that it was completely absurd to expect every baby to follow such an exact routine! In my experience this just coursed more stress for us and him- and there's enough of that around anyway! With my baby girl we have done exactly the opposite- no routine at all for roughly the first three months! It's been so much more enjoyable - I've loved being 'free' and think my baby is happier because of this! Now don't get me wrong- I love routine and think babies and children thrive with a good one when they are ready! I know the benefit of hind-sight is great, but Harri eventually found his own routine with naps in the day and we did the bedtime routine from pretty early on which was great.
3. I let my baby sleep in our bed.
'She'll be sleeping with you until she's 11!" I hear you cry! She has her own Moses basket but when she's poorly (which has been too often over the last month!) I let her sleep next to me because she actually sleeps!! Anything to get some sleep I say! (Within reason if course!)
4.I give my little boy sweets, biscuits and crisps.
I know, I know! During the first year I kept him off (nearly) all artificial sugars, crisps etc, and then at his first birthday party he tasted chocolate cake and sweets for the first time... it was a slippery slope from there! We have been monitoring this much more closely recently though and anything with artificial colours and flavourings and lots of sugar definitely seems to be linked to crazy behaviour! (Pretty obvious I know, but it's so easy to let them slip in here and there as a treat and before you know it they are eating them twice a day and your child is running around screaming while distributing toilet roll all around your house!) This one is difficult to keep track on when you live so close to your babies grandparents though!
5. I give by baby a dummy.
Before I had kids I hated dummies. I used to judge parents who gave them to their children. I thought it was the easy way out and they looked horrible. I was right, they are the easy(er) way out! But GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Mummies have too much to deal with without trying to be saints! If it helps settle your baby while they are little, and doesn't harm them in anyway- why not use a dummy!? I was so afraid that my son would still have his dummy when he started school and I would be a failed mother. Just before his first birthday we didn't need it anymore and it was a pretty easy transition to sleeping with out one. (I say 'we' because I was as addicted to him having it as he was!)
6. I stopped breast feeding before 6 months.
With Harri I lasted about 5 and a half (so close I know!) but with Alice I have just stopped at about 3 and a half months. To be honest this was a bit earlier than I wanted to stop but she has been poorly and not eating much, so my milk was pretty much nonexistent by the time she got her appetite back with a vengeance! Making bottles up at 4am is not fun either so I wish I'd been able to carry on a bit longer. There is so much pressure on mothers to breast feed these days, I say give it a try but if it doesn't work out for whatever reason don't beat yourself up! There are plenty of very healthy and intelligent adults who were formula fed as babies!!
7. I used and will use packet baby food.
Yes I did the blending and mashing and cooking up bland stews and soups and healthy muffins, but I also bought packets and pouches. It's hard work being a mother and I haven't got the time or inclination to cook up three gourmet Annabel Karmel baby meals a day that they just end up throwing on the floor/wall, rubbing in their hair/eyes and staining their top and if you're lucky a small portion actually goes in their mouth (that's not to say it stays in there!). I will try and cook some meals, I obviously want my baby to have healthy and varied food, but I am realistic and don't plan on getting too stressed out about using Ella's Kitchen once a day!
8. I let my baby sleep in her car seat longer than I should.
Is it an hour and half? Two hours? I'm not even sure how long they recommend letting your baby stay in their car seat, but I know I've exceeded it! (I've no idea what you're meant to do if you're driving back to Aberystwyth from Buckinghamshire!? Stop 4 times and the journey would take about 11 hours!!)
9. I bribe my child.
Enough said.
10. I rock my baby to sleep.
A sin I know. I was so worried that I would have to rock Harrison to sleep until he was 25, but that just wasn't the case. By the time he was 1, and before I'm sure, he could settle himself (with the dummy!) and he'd sleep 12 hours each night. Perfect. That all changed when he reached his second birthday... but that's another blog post. So with Alice I'm not worried about rocking her to sleep sometimes. Sometime she goes off by herself, sometimes she needs a cuddle. Babies are for cuddling anyway, as my mother would say.
Well I feel better, confession is good for the soul as they say. (I think?)
I find being a mummy more challenging every day, but more rewarding too. All we can do is try to be a bit better each day. Try to be more patient with the demanding toddler and the crying baby. Try to give them more cuddles and kisses than the day before. Try to be encouraging and not negative in everything they do. Try to tell them you love them at least once each day. Try to feed them healthy food. Try to talk and listen to them. Try to have quality time with them each day. Try to be on time to pick them up from nursery. Try not to buy them too many clothes and hair accessories.
Happy Mothering!
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